85% of wishlist granted, 15% more to go
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so one of the wishes that i got is no longer being able to fit into aforementioned tube dress cos i wanted to stop looking emaciated and people from enquiring if i suddenly acquired an eating disorder.
BUT, the catch is, and its not cos of the boobs.
its the hips. not good since im totally lusting over this australian brand- supre-'s clothing (which im gonna get free shipping back to sg for, thankyou ray!). only prob is theyre all tiny. and look abit like cling wrap. come into office everyday also depressed. people arnd me are all like size 2? and WITH CONSIDERABLE JUGS STILL. k one day take a pic of my colleagues and post up, you'll understand why its no wonder everyday i get abit sadder and older :(
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life is damn weird anyhow.
other than the fact that im overworked, its freaking awesome.
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my wishlist thus far-
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1) move out
check
will post pictures soon!
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2) earn shitloads of money
check
ok fine so maybe i dont make THAT much, but its good enough for me since i nv have time to spend and it thus accumulates and looks like alot :)
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3) being with whoever i want to be with
check
PLUS i get the secret perks of telling them to suck it cos its my goddamn last laugh. hurhur.
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4) enjoying whatever (or most of what) im doing
check
other than when it comes to times that i get into trouble from my 1) lack of a working alarm clock and/or 2) alarmingly ridiculous rate of mistake making.
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5) caring alot less abt what people are saying
check
ive finally gotten to a stage whereby i just confronted them... and it felt gooooood.
i shld have done that in januaryyyyy.
you wanna throw water at me, go ahead.
you want to judge and gossip, go ahead.
you want to blame your failure on someone else, go ahead.
im just glad to be of some entertainment value to you :)
as long as i know im better than that. and you. hurhur.
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only unfulfilled wish-
6) LOOK AWESOME.
donno lah i think my eyebags have taken up permanant residence, as has my terribly dry skin and split ends. boo. and my boobs still haven't grown that 2 cup sizes yet :(
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admittedly, everything came so unbelievably fast that it almost seems...
temporary.
like fleetingish.
like one day ill wake up and it'll all be gone?
i know thats impossible (errr unless all 4 of my jobs fire me at the same time haha) but still.
better safe than sorry i guess.
or like what our motto was in girl guides (hehe pigtails)
BE PREPARED.
i donno how thats sup to happen but xing1 li3 zun3 bei4 is prob the bestest way to steel yourself against lifes shitty blows.
short of locking yourself in a room and hibernating of course.
(even then i bet murphy's law will get to me.
like earthquake then the room that im hibernating in will collapse then ill be paralysed cos my life sucks so much i wont even die and ill just be a paraplegic for the rest of my life.
murghhhhh.
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i'm damn emo today.
think i must be pmsing.
its just one of those days that i feel like running away to antartica or throwing myself off a building.
gah.
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MARRY MEEEEEE!
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i just spent the last half an hour ogling at wedding photos of an ex hall mate on fb.
apparently, her ROM was 2 years ago and she just had her church ceremony and wedding dinner last month.
and shes my age
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
overjoyed for her since shes abt the sweetest, most unassuming people i know but did feel a tinge of jealousy.
i also wanna get married!
at 16, i thought i'd get married at 21 and have my first kid at 22.
at 19, it increased to 23 and 24 respectively.
but now at 23, i doubt either is gonna happen before the age of 30.
sadded :(
yes partially its my own fault since i managed to turn down 2 "marriage proposals" from then bfs (lucky they nv do it with rings, if not the blingbling would have enticed me to say yes) before the age of 18.
BUT ALSO HELLO,
WHY ARE THERE NO MARRIAGABLE GUYS THAT I LIKE OUT THERE.
then i realised why.
i like little boys.
if i had a choice between men with merces vs boys with bikes, i'd go for the latter anyday.
realise i hardly complain "wahlau, guy X is damn immature lah!" its more like "sian, whys guy X so OLDDDDD AND BLAHHHH." on one hand i need someone who can take care of me, and on the other, if he does it too well, i lose interest. i confuse myself. bluergh.
so basically it just means that guys that are WILLING to get married arent the type that im WILLING to marry.
ie
IM NEVER GONNA FUCKING GET MARRIED.
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and i donno why im being so rambly today.
maybe it has smth to do w the fact that i've been awake for 30hours straight working.
10am-7pm procon
7pm-11pm boulevard
12am-8am dealing
830-currently 3.30pm bmw@sdc
im very impressed w myself actually. think im getting used to barely sleeping. only drawbacks is that IM FUCKING CRABBY and sometimes what i say is pretty much all blabber. or then again maybe only i think its blabber since my comprehension skills dramatically decrease with each passing hour. or maybe its both or maybe i just confused myself again.
well done.
another 3 more hours and i can finally leave this godforsaken place to buy furniture for the new place!
mega excitement :)
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ok going back to the main point of this post,
can i just marry myself since i cant exactly find a guy who wants to?
now all i need is to strike 4d and i can buy that GORGEOUS wedding dress by emporio armani.
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ONE HUGE ROLLERCOASTER
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i need to slow down.
my life has suddenly transformed into a huge ass rollercoaster that i cant get off and im having breakdowns at the weirdest moments.
its like permanently pmsing and honestly, its not fun screwing up things that matter.
i sleep on average 3hours a day, not by choice, but bcos im majorly overloaded.
i spend the time awake stoned as hell and literally physically screaming when i have to get out of bed.
i average 2 cans of redbull everyday and drink thrice a week.
i get at least 2 ppl a day telling me to slow down.
and this isnt gonna end anytime soon.
i just realised im gonna be working 40 days STRAIGHT wo any off days or OT.
im not complaining cos i dont mind the work but WAHLAU SERIOUSLY?! isnt this against some MOM policy?!
how sad is that.
no wait saddest bit,
IVE PUT ON LIKE 5KG IN THE LAST MONTH?!
and yes, none on the chest area so yes go ahead and laugh.
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i really really REALLLLLLLLY want to do what matters but thats me, i never know when to say no, i never know when to stop until one day, i decide that enough is enough and quit everything at one go and become a hermit.
hopefully i can find some way to manage my life before that happens.
cos im really fucking afraid.
and no im not emo and not sad.
just worried out of my mind :(
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